Life in the Cracker Factory

summer colds.

they suck.

there is just simply no other way to put it. summer colds suck. especially when the one sick is 6. and male. or maybe just male....does age really matter in that species when sick? something to think about.

out of the blue today the boy had a 102 fever and rising. i kinda got clued in when he came out of his room wearing a hoodie and then promptly crawled under a blanket in my 76 degree house. so hint taken. as well as his temp. adn subsequently tylenol.

now of course this all happens in my ziggy life in which this could possibly be the busiest week of my summer. jam packed with appointments and must do's with a trip to the nat'l history museum with pals thrown in for some fun.

but it's just a fever you say. ah, yes. just a fever. and if it's anything like the one that seems to be flying through the playgroups and community pools in town, then it's the type that lasts for oh....just about a week. you know this by the clumps of hair lying about in yards where the mother's walk aimlessly about with frenzied looks upon their formerly made up faces. thankfully, i don't wear makeup, and my hair clumps come out in the shower. but we shall see.

normally, i'd have a mini nervous breakdown. nah. not this time. sorry....no refunds on the show either. i need to buy more albums. but first, i will take advantage of this new found house-bound time with the aide of ear plugs and wine (do i drink wine? i should probably think about that too. extensively.) i will have plenty of time to actually hunt down and put away all the layouts that are hanging about in boxes and files throughout the dungeon. novel concept, huh?

so wish me luck. i'm off to ponder the great mysteries of life, including what type of wine will block out whine....

happy 4th! and other ramblings....

aj decided to wake up at the butt crack 'o dawn this morning. oh happy happy joy joy. that child knows how to start off a long weekend (insert eye roll here).

if I were a smart person, i would have stayed up instead of crashing back out in the chair and made the dessert for the bbq we're supposed to go to *if* this damn rain holds off. sad to say, but i wish it would rain! i love these people...so down to earth and friendly, our boys are best buds and are in the same class again this coming year. it's not the company i want to avoid, just the idea of company. make sense? probably not. but hey, that's me.

still wishing and hoping and praying that the right call comes through. provided of course that verizon actually fixes my damn phone tomorrow. explain to me how i can have no telephone service, but my dsl works wonderfully? i should be greatfull for that at least! but i'm dying for that call. two words and my life is changed forever. actually, the more i think about it, it's more like two phone calls, four words (2 each) and wow. i can't even imagine the happy i'll be.

got a busy week coming up - things to have checked and to check on. birthday's, babies, and no booze. somehow that just seems cruel ;) especially after the birthday's! eh. fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. (name that movie!)

ack! off to shower and get the hardened white chocolate out my hair. don't ask.

keep your fingers crossed for me, will ya?

i'm waiting on some very important news. news that will literally change my life. so please, keep your fingers crossed that it works out. i really need it to. desperately.

in other news, the great declutter of 08 continues. need more cropper hopper verticle files desperately. started putting away all my paper....have an entire one filled with just american crafts and one and a half with ki. it's a sickness i tell ya.

started putting lo's in albums. good lord i did a lot in 06 - at least picture wise. not so much in 07 or 08. guess it's a sign of the constant running i've been doing. have to correct that. hopefully a few day trips will get me going again. LOVED taking pics at the bronx zoo this past weekend - the new madagascar exhibit rocks! so happy to be back in the ole lion house. such memories. sigh.

still trying to beat lego indy....it's an addiction i tell ya! looking forward to lego batman for christmas. yes, i'm turning into a complete geek. but hey, it's fun. and frustrating.

off to bed. hopefully i can sleep tonight. too much on my mind and combined with my worsening apnea, it hasn't been very pleasant around here. anyway, please keep your fingers crossed for me. i could really use the extra luck!

late night tv is....

disturbing.
mind-numbing.
idiotic.
iq lowering.

need i go on?

seriously - my super sweet 16? hello? we are so screwed if this is what our future is. seriously.

and what's up with all these stupid text whatever to this number and find out who likes you, answers to your questions, etc. are tweenie boppers really that stupid.

wait. if they're the same idiots having super sweet 16's then i suppose i answered my own question.

oh lord. insomnia sucks. at least on sunday nights when there is nothing on.

decluttering

such a horrid word. it evokes a sense of doom and gloom in nearly everyone (neat freaks aside) that i know. just the thought of spending the day cleaning nearly forces the hives out from my epidermis. but alas, today i am doing it. in the worst place of all - my office. eeeeeeeekkkkk!!!!! (this is where the creepy horror movie music plays in the background)

i can see my desk. well, i could before i started piling crap on it. but i did clean it off first. hush. it makes sense in my world. and i like my world. so there!

i have uncovered the plethora of albums i bought over a year ago and never put anything into. the plan is to actually put things (preferably layouts) into them. we'll see if that works. in the meantime, i will be battling the manic shopping sprees i have embarked on over the last year - or so it seems - since the last time i actually utilized the shit down there. i have a feeling a giant ebay purge is in my future. (cue horror music again)

so why the sudden burst of summer cleaning when it's africa hot (is africa humid? perhaps i should say indonesia hot?) outside? ah. that one is simple.last week i stayed up all night to make a scrapbook for aj's kindergarten teacher. it was fun. i did paper piecing of crayons and trail mix like goodies, stamped and embossed flowers....ya know, the fun stuff we did before the mass hysteria of chipboard everything??? yeah, that stuff. problem was, i couldn't find half the stuff i know i have. which frustrated me.

secondly, i have the itch to start making cards again. and maybe even a page or two. so the shit has got to go. time to do it is now....so why am i here typing about it instead of doing it? duh. (slaps self on forehead)

if you don't hear from me, you know why. send the paramedics and some water. hopefully the crickets will not have taken me away before they find my body.....but then again, there is a lot of me to take away, so i might be safe ;)

click, click, click.....

yes, that was my car this morning as i attempted to get my child out the door to field day....which i was also working.

although that was the actual sound it made, in my mind it went something more along the lines of...click, click, click....ha ha bitch....click, click, click....ha ha ha bitch....well, you get the point.

so once again, the best laid plans all go to pot. grrrr. we did manage to get to school on time thanks to a neighborhood friend. the pisser is....i have three cars at my house. two of which are running. of course the one that is not is blocking the other two. and hell if i was about to push my car out of the driveway this morning and try to steer it to the street just to get to another car.

the handy man who is stuck at work seems to think it's the 6 year battery. given that the 6 year battery actually lasted 6 years and two months is somewhat of a miracle. and all i can think is how much it would have sucked had this happened at oh, the zoo. or somewhere else leaving me stranded and in need of a tow truck. thankfully, for once, karma was on my side and the damn thing died in the driveway. but whatever. que sera, sera.....or something like that. i can't spell in english never mind other languages ;)

in other news, the year is winding down. finished the scrapbook for the teacher....never had time to scan it tho :( and can't figure out how to photomerge on the mac anyway. my camera is back safe at home after a week with my step-father who can't find his in the midst of the move. i finally have the itch to actually scrap again and my room should qualify for FEMA assistance....but we all know i have a better chance of doing it myself ;)

oooooo i think mr. handy man just pulled up. more later....

raising a penis - when will i learn?

so my child has a tendency to be really freaking smart one moment and like a rock the next. case in point:

this morning's conversation at starbucks over a latte and a sandwich:

aj: hey dad....in 1492 columbus sailed the ocean blue
me: oh lord
dad: yeah buddy....he was a great italian
me: oh no you didn't
dad: yes. i did. he was italian and therefore great
aj: he discovered america moooom
dad: yeah mom ;)
me: enough boys. don't make me do this.....
dad: aj....tell mommy how much you like columbus
aj: well, mom, you see....
me: enough! he did not discover america! the vikings did! and the chinese before that, and given current archelogical findings, africans hit the shores of NA long before columbus ever claimed to be italian and stood before ferdinand and isabella regurgitating the world is round theory that had been in place at least 200 years before he was born.
dad: but who got the credit?
me: are you **&%$ kidding me!?!? the only thing he should have been given credit for is rape, murder, spreading smallpox and veneral disease and selling the indiginios people of hispaniola as slaves!
aj: so really....he discovered hispaniola? not america?
me: right. history is writen by the winners a.....
aj: really?
dad: they earned the right....
aj: wow. hey mom....what's veneral disease?
me: (slapping my head) nevermind.
dad: no honey....explain what that is ;)
me: it's a disease of the veneral (hello....he's 6, remember?)

bottom line - i can hear the phone calls coming home now.

teacher: uh, mrs. M....we have anthony here in the office. he started a riot in kindergarten this morning claiming that you told him that columbus discovered hispanolia and gave people veneral disease. can you please come down here and explain this?

why oh why do i do this to myself??? cuz you know that child has a freaky memory and if he somehow doesn't happen to tell his classmates tomorrow that the columbus thing is a farce and that the history books are written with so many moral ambiguities and outright lies that it would make your head spin, or hit them with his knowledge of VD....well, then it's coming. somehwere in teh next year or two. and i'll wonder why in the world he would say this. then i will remember this conversation and promptly hit myself repeatedly with a blunt object.

raising a penis. not so easy.

boy i'm boring!

i just realized that there has been absolutely nothing to blog about lately. not unless i really care to remember (or anyone cares to read) about the end of the year bullcrap. t-ball ended today....summer class is over for me...end of the year parties coming up this week....teacher's scrapbook in production....heatwave should be ending....yep. boooorrrrrrrrrring

i mean really - do you want to know how many hours i've spent playing lego indiana jones on the wii? and how i got so good at it, i don't need to look at the walkthroughs? nope. boring.

do you care that i'm trying a new recipe for double chocolate peanutbutter cup fudge cupcakes? well, maybe, if you like chocolate ;) i'll let you know how they turn out if you care.

the house is a mess (thanks in part to indy...teehee) and john hasn't been home in over a week it seems. so yeah. life is pretty damn dull at the moment. and i like it! maybe i'll actually clean this week....oooooo.

raising a penis.

i always thought it would be easier than raising a girl. i'm begining to question my logic on this one.

what? did you think i was being dirty? come on! i'm not that kind of girl!

back to reality:

seriously - raising a penis is NOT an easy job! here are two examples straight from the penis files.....

yesterday, mid afternoon:

aj: (all parts beginning with aj must be read in whine) mooooooooommmmmm.
me: what?
aj: my penis is black!
me: what!?!
aj: my penis.....it's black! i think it's dead!
me: what!?!?!
aj: ya know....like when your skin dies when it gets frostbite....it turns black and dies.
me: (trying not to laugh) anthony....i don't think you have frostbite. and i don't think your penis does either.
aj: but mom.....it's black, and it's gonna fall off when it dies! how am i gonna go pee?
me: (trying harder not laugh, biting inner cheek and lip to stifle laughter as body shakes uncontrollably) anthony. you do not have frostbite and your penis is not falling off. let me see....
aj: mom. no!
me: anthony. you have to the count of two to drop your pants.
aj: okay.

it ws then i realized he was wearing black underwear. and the dye from the undies must have transferred to his skin in the heat. of course, i told him that. to which he replies:

aj: oh thank god! i thought i was going to have to be a girl!

yep. slap your head with your hand along with me here, will you?

and we won't even discuss the phone calls i had to make in search of a dx for a hive-like rash on the area where the scrotum meets the inner thigh. john's t work, fil is out for the evening, and all my local parent of boys friends are at comedy night (where i should be, btw) so i resorted to calling dan. which was a very uncomfortble conversation i might add.

yep. raising a penis is no easy job.

end of the year is hell

i never realized just how nuts the end of the end of the school year really was. i know parents bitch about it all the time....but never had any clue it was this bad! preschool is tame compared to this!

we have family breakfast's, end of the year picnics, the kindergarten meet and greet (am & pm get together for the day), the final party, field day, carnival day, variety shows, and a whole lotta other things i don't care to remember at this moment. and all in the next 14 days (excluding weekends of course). needless to say, i'm tired just thinking about it. and i didn't even go on the field trips or to the parties this year!

somehow i got talked into chair-ing the bookfair next year, and will most likely be stuck chairing it for the next 3 after that. which didn't seem like a big deal since the first one isn't till october. but noooooooooo. need to go to the training course, need to set the district calendar with the dates for the fall and spring fair including a family shopping night. all because i said it made no sense the way they did it last year. one day i'll learn to keep my trap shut.

maybe.

6 more days of my summer class and two speeches to go before i can finally relax. i want to get so much done this summer....now just to figure out how ;) thinking of a mini-vacation (thank you recession....grrrrr) to either philly or boston. thinking aj is still a bit too young for washington dc, and i have no idea what the hell john would do with him while i spend a day at the museum. not one for kids. or at least kids as sensitive as mine.

speaking of mr. sensitivity....apparently mitch said he's not his friend, but aj can come to his party. of course aj wants to go - it's at the local fair. i really hate these damn parenting dillemas. truly i do. while i don't want to set him up for a life of platitude, i do want him to learn from his mistakes. ugh.

shit. time to start dinner. it's too hot to cook. and it's only 84. what am i going to do when summer hits?